31st March

2day lets just say, half dissapointed half glad, plus some pain. after school YE production was...how should I say...ok we've got very very very little ppl who turned up, I can name all of them. Chen Nyap, Khai Hoe, Jin Yee, Christine, Julian, Adrian, Lily, Su Saint, Felicia, Zean Shiung. See. dissapointment no.1

dissapointment no.2, ppl are still complaining. but glad nol.1, they complain less and do more work 2day. maybe I can consider not to scold ppl that harsh this thursday.

pain no.1, I cut my finger quite deep and was bleeding quite awfully. well, lily was like, showing no mercy when trying to stop my bleeding. Pressing all the blood out so hard. xD. According to her, it's like "the good thing about stopping other ppl's blood is you wont feel the pain so you will not hestitate to press it as hard as you can". xDDDDD

well and then, after production, disapointment no.3. THE PEEPS MENCALARKAN MEJA ORANG LAIN!!!!!!!! how can they not having old newspaper beneath when they are cutting things with blade. I was like, omg common sense oso know you need to cover the table up. Is it that those are not your tables so you can do whatever you want? And after scratching the table they dun even feel guilty and start omg-ing until I discover myself.

and then I put all the things to pn.phang's place, and found out the staffroom locked. try to boro ed-board room (tho I feel guilty for making it like a store for YE, but reli cannot bring home all of them at once la), and oso locked, and finally I have to put in prefects' room la, but feel quite unsafe there, its like there are so many ppl there and who knows ppl might accidently dirty the thing or stepped on it.

Glad no.2, dun tell you. my own secret.

FRUSTRATION. my BM was 84 when the teacher returned to me. I was so freaking happy, and only to discover he forgot to give me 5 more marks. if I got the 5 my purata will be 80.8 this time and win becca who has 80.7. and then you know what? the freaking teacher says that 89 is just too high and he remark my paper. I see him flipping my paper more than 3 times and the 4th or 5th time finally he use his red pen and write something. at the end I got only 86! I mean, if it doesn't affect my class position I dun mind, but after he minus it my purata is 80.5, I lost to becca d! It's like he got nothing to minus d he just simply change my 25/30 karangan to 24/30, and then simply minus my mark from pemahaman without givng me reason. he just put a cross anywhere he wants. I ask him why wrong he say ini salah, kamu ada markah begitu tinggi d jangan cari saya lagi. WTF??? if wrong ok i accept, but tell me why wrong, you cant tell me I wrong because I got high marks, its so unfair!!!! if the answer is accepted then should accept la, you cannot dun accept it bcause my mark was too high, but it doesn't even exceed 100. if exceed 100 u dun give me mark understood la, but this is like....ARRGGGHHHH. so damn unfair woei, my tatabahasa onli got 1 peribahasa mistake minus 2 mark, karangan no error 25/30, rumusan 28/30 and pemahaman got a bit error minus 2 marks, so should be 11. correct la 89/100, but now, he change my mark just because he feel like changing it. how can he be so unreasonable. all the classmates go out and ask him WHY IS THIS WRONG, but they are not ASKING FOR MARKS, he just say ini salah pergi duduk. ini tidak boleh diterima but without telling you why. I mean, learning from your mistake, I DUN EVEN KNOW WHY WRONG HOW CAN I AVOID MAKING THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN!!?? or is it that you cant come up with a good reason for giving us wrong so u just shut our mouth by force?

and got some freak ar, reli wanna eff him d. I decided to ask for sejarah marks and at the end feel like my answer isn't good enough n din go, he keep asking, got add ma, i feel so frustrated and say 2 marks onli add no add oso same. he says, yalo 2 marks onli ma 84 quite high d la, no nid 2 beg one. I feel like slapping him woei. He got 97 and go ask marks here n there until he got 100, shut ur eff mouth up la. and my BM, he says, aiya 84 oso add till 86 d ma, highest in the class d la still beg for wat. wtf I dun beg just because I want the marks to make my result look nicer, but ITS THE MARK I DESERVE OK???? I DUN ASK MARKS OR BEG FOR IT WHEN I DUN DESERVE THEM. I feel like slapping this guy real hard. HE KEEPS BEGGING FOR MARKS AND NOW HE SAYS aiya 2 marks 3 marks NO NID 2 BEG to ME!!??? tell yourself woei you bastard. seriously kiasu guy. reli tak tahan him d.

losing to becca isn't much a great deal. if my mark is originally losing to her I DUN MIND you know. I mean, you got ur marks deducted for NO REASON and it AFFECTS YOUR CLASS POSITION, WILL YOU FEEL FRUSTRATED!!!???? I tell you I am so gonna get 80 for my BM next time and show him MY BM IS STRONG AND DOES NOT GAIN MARKS THRU BEGGING. if he still says wah 80 tinggi and go minus my marks ar, I reli going to tell the adminstration man. HOW CAN A TEACHER MINUS MARKS JUST BECAUSE HE FEELS LIKE HE WANTED TO DO SO???

tired of hell.....

u c, i so long din blog d (altho few days onli, but seems like i've been taking one day as two). thursday YE meeting, quite frustrated, and friday was...what did i do ar? morning count money for the class photo in ed-board room, super relaxing. it feels so good to be ordered around, when you dont have to think, just follow orders.

after school count money for afternoon session photo, but seem that most didn't give us the money so we did very little. then...skipped ungu, cuz counting money. and pn.chan is so nice and she belanja us refreshment. then go to amcorp to pick up stuff. (oh now i reliase, i just blogged 2 days ago) since some ppl din come, onli me lily and yee aun, we bring back the stuff with lots of trouble. carrying the stuff was a pain. yee aun almsot broke her hand, well in terms of mentally. and lily missed 1 hour of her tuition.

saturday YE production day. i still dun understand why the box are all messed up in their sizes. perhaps is that ppl are drawing the outline that i gave them using the sample, so when drawing the sizes are enlarged by 1mm each sides. thats the most reasonable reason i can came up with. in the end we produced...none. yes none. a lot boxes done, but only halfway done. still haven put up the decos. lily should be dying these 2 days...she brought all the already-made boxes home and now she got like 10++ boxes to decorate. and then she's working with the rubber stamp, and then ed-board oso got stuff 2 do, aihz....

i feel really lost. seriously dunno what to do. its like i dunno what's in teacher's mind, and i can't even ask her what to do. i do according to what i know, and then their are something that i nvr imagine or thought of, that teacher can suddenly reveal to me. so the plan again and again is messed up. and i was so shocked to know that xin lin (last year's MD) was so stressed up and she even cried because of the stress. sigh...i think i am no where better. u ask seniors, they tell u according to what they know. but this year situation is different, we r not fully exposed to what YE is and we gotta come up with a sales plan. its like the situation is in chaos now, and yet ppl r complaining on oh-so-little stuff, and backstabbing everywhere. there are a lot members, guys especially, can relax and keep their hands free and talking during the production. and i see the girls seriously are working and working non-stop. and i mentioned bringing me the prototype, hell they dissapoint me again n again. should i give them the last chance? or should i just eliminate the idea suggested? i feel cruel doing that, but the ppl are taking an advantage seeing me just talk without taking any action. i reli reli cannot tahan these ppl. sales is in less around 10 days, and they can still sit back, relax and goyang kaki. and none volunteered to help us to do the box. its like i bring back 20-30 boxes to paste, and lily bring around 10++. and i am not bothered to ask them to do it. if i do ask, they will happily agree, and then when i ask back from them when the deadline comes, they say oh not done.

afternoon prefect duty, i was really mad and no mood to eat. so i duty after eating just ice cream and work. becca and su saint are the boss(es) of the day. so i am jsut being ordered around. yea nice. dun have to think with the brain. and you get to relax ur brain. but su saint's way of ordering really looks boss-like (is this called boss-y? [bossy?]) but ah well, somehow i really dislike it last year but that day i take it like nothing. well and i do appreciate her help by taking 5 boxes home 2 paste.

p/s: for some ppl that u think i do not trust u by not giving u any task to do, ask urself b4 u complain that i pilih kasih. its either, u do not earn my trust, or u LOST MY TRUST. think urself, trust is gained by ur action, not falling from the sky. u cant expect me to trust u when u keep delaying the task given and simply do ur job or by talking without action. moreover, to some ppl, u lost my trust day by day by TALKING BIG all the time. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TRUST YOU???? HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GIVE IMPORTANT TASK TO YOU??? i can only give you small task that is not important and does not affect anything whether it is done or not. think about it.

i can trust ppl with no pose, instead of trusting some high poses like manager or directors. because THE ELECTION IS DONE BY FIRST SIGHT and FIRST IMPRESSION. u can talk something very nice and very idealistic, ppl will trust you by thinking "oh this guy thinkgs far and critically" without seeing "this guy talks without doing job" and vote you. when time goes I will know who is talking and mean what they said, or who is just talking but will nvr fulfill his promise. again, TRUST DOES NOT FALL FROM THE SKY, AND TRUST IS NOT GIVEN JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MY FRIEND. dun take advantage that you are my friend and i can entrust everything to you. DUN TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED, i tell u i am hell serious and i differentiate personal relationship with my work very well. you can be a friend, but you might not be a good committee. AND I WILL EXPEL YOU JUST LIKE I WILL EXPEL OTHERS IF YOU DO NOT FOLLOW THE GUIDELINE SET FOR ALL MEMBERS. hate me if you want, but I wun say sorry for that. u deserve it. know where is ur power limit, dun misuse ur power by taking advantage just because ur friend is what what what director. IF I FIND ANY MISUSE OF POWER, STRAIGHT AWAY EXPEL.