Freaking emo!!!
I noticed that every time before exam I will definitely have this emo-kind of feeling, which really pissed me! i wonder why, is it stress that causes me emo? It's like ruining my study-mood! sigh...I haven't even studied for any subject not until 2 hours ago, which is just preparing for 2moro up-coming add-maths. And I just did like 4 questions and I've got no mood to continue. I am preparing to die for add-maths. Now I notice that this line really come into help (sorta) - Time Is Gold. 2moro add-maths, yes I can do it, I just need more than 1 and a half hour to do so, so......die only la! Past year question I got only 61.25%, which is like so freaking low...Really going to die 2moro d.
Emo Emo Emo Emo Emo Emo Emo...........................
I seriously can't stand my life. It's like...got cut off from any form of connections outside. I can't even find a topic with any of my used-to-be close-friends, when they are busying talking about their class-events among themselves. It's like, S4 will talk to S4 more, and S3 talk with S3 more, it's normal, you can't just ask someone else from other class about what books to bring, or what homework we have, or where has the teacher taught.
So I am cut off from the prefects-society. I often find myself sitting there listening to what people talking only, which sometimes, are things that I don't even have a clue. In class...hell! I gotta face that "particular-person" every single moment. I really really can't stand the person's attitude. Those who you know who is that, just keep quiet okay? As usual, the person will do something, insane behaviour kind. Damn!!! Damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop bugging me you freak! you are really driving me nuts!!!!!
I seriously, find nothing is left, and what's the meaning of living. I gotta face a freak in class, and after school go home face my dad, another freak. And I got no sense of living at all. I can't even find a person to talk to!!!!!!!! What reliefs me is when we are going Bio and Chem lab, at least, still got Chen Nyap to talk with. I am like, not doing any social-communication with anyone anymore, not until I go to the lab.
I seriously never feel so freaking lonely before. I often can find at least, one person to talk with me. Now I couldn't even find a person whom I am comfortable with to talk with. Am I being forgotten? Am I not noticable? I guess I am...from the reaction you gave me that day, from what you did, I think I am no longer existing.
Standing beside you is pain, esspecially when I feel like an outsider. Keeping distance from you is pain, as I couldn't feel the connection between us anymore. Running from you is pain, as our bond is broken that I have to face my sorrow alone.
sen no yoru wo koete - overcoming Thousand of Nights, now...is only 55 days...
It's pain to see you from the side.
It's pain being left out. It's pain being forgotten.
It's pain being alone.
It's pain to smile even when I don't feel happy.
It's pain to look strong when I am torn.
It's pain to hide what I feel.
It's pain.....to live......
I wanna run from pain...
"ore wa tada jibun dake, tada wa hitori dake, dare mo mieru janai, itsumo, mirai mo...kako no yuujou, kimi no yasashii...ima kieteru...ore no kimochi, ore no kodoku, anata wakaru? dare ka wakaru?"
No comments:
Post a Comment