Fed Up

I just realised that I am crowded with a lot of hypocrites. They say something nice, say how good you are, act like your friend, behind you they just stab you with something sharper than dagger.

I really look up to those who are honest. They don't mind saying your bad things out in front of you. Words might be harsh, but I know they want me to change for better good. I salute you, you are really a true friend. Words are harsh, but better than stabbing you from back without confronting you. If you dislike the way I do, tell me, so I can change, don't just say something behind me, I dislike it. If you think I am the kind of people that couldn't take advice, then I have to tell you that you don't know me at all. I might look like one, but to be frank I am willing to. It just take time. You can't expect someone to change his attitude in a day, same applies to me, you have to give me time.

I hate politics. Unfortunately lately people have been relating whatever I do to politics. Whatever I do, even without any single intention, they can relate to something big, like I like attention, like I want to show how capable I am, like I am fake, even a cry can be said as a fake to show how pity I am. wtf?

I don't really mind what you say to me. It is a pain in heart, not because someone misunderstands me, if any random people misunderstand me, I am fine with it, action will prove that I am not as they say one day. What makes me feel heart cold is that people who seriously backstabbing you, are those who you call "best friends". I don't really understand how can they fake a smile so nicely in front of you, and behind you say something as bad as shit.

Are they just using me? Using me to get known among seniors? Not to be perasan but, I think quite often I am exposed to seniors, as in chatting and befriend with them. But these are thought as "gaining attention JUST for election", they say I never treat the seniors with real friendship. I don't mind. They just don't know me.

These people, often known as the "NATO", No Action Talk Only. They talk, yes they do, in fact they have seriously good ideas and opinions that one might think they are capable people. But when you know them long enough, you realise they talk but no action. When comes to practical, you don't even see a god damn bloody shadow of them.

They think I am so perasan to think I am too great to isolate them. Yes I do starting to isolate them, but because of all the hypocrisy. Hell don't expect me to befriend you when I know how you treat me ok?

Last year, I thought some of my seniors were over-reacted when they don't get what they want. They are not that committed anymore. I just thought that they over-reacted. Now I understand how you guys feel. Sorry to all those I misunderstood, tho I never tell anyone just kept inside my heart, but I do seriously feel sorry about the wrong impression. IT IS NOT THE POSE YOU GET MATTERS. It's what your friends, who you think are friends, thought about you that matters right? It is that that makes you feel discouraged right?

Those who are always being hypocrates, please please I beg you, stop your childish rumors spreading. You don't like it when people start saying you bad things. Please don't. If you want my respect, EARN IT, I don't respect you just because you are my friend for 3 years. In fact I can respect someone in 2 months. Yes Shaun Quah, I truly respect what you are doing, tho others never understand how much you did behind them, but I know, you are a true friend.

p/s: Pls don't be perasan and say who I mention is you. I nvr pin point anyone with all the negative characteristics I mentioned above.
pp/s: Thanks a lot to those who always stick with me thick and thin, thanks for all the encouragement and advices you all gave me all the time, it is you who makes me think that life still worth to be treasured.

Special thanks to:
Christine
Chen Nyap
Shu Han
Becca
Min Chern
Yung Hsin
and many many more who always, or sometimes sit down and listen to my grudge. Su Teng, Peter, Lie Yang Shin Yee, Choon Lim, Jin Yee, Shiau Ling, Hui Yee, Chin Ming, Dennis, Zong Yao and more that I couldn't finish listing. I will move on with life okay? Just give me more time to overcome things.