Wondering

It makes me wonder, how a small action can change one's opinion on the other.

Joining YE certainly makes me grow a lot. I have to agree, I had gone through a lot of hardship, but because of these tough experiences, I have grown. I have learnt to be careful with words, learn to control my bad temper and not to scold people (at least not in public, I do complain and explode everything, but to those who are close to me), and talk to people only after I cool myself down.

It really makes a difference, that one person that always complain about me and dislikes whatever I do, to start to befriend me. Although I am not sure how much it is that the person trust me and respect me, but the thing I know is, the person certainly do not be as sacarstic to me as the person used to be. These small actions of mine, by just controlling my temper, has changed my image on others. It really makes a difference.

And as the leader, I have to deal with people. There are many people from YE, whom I dislike at first, and manage to change my opinion towards them by just contributing something small. True, they are not active before that, so I disilike them. Think about it, it's my fault actually. I did not give them a clear statement on what they should do and expect them to know from the book given to them. In fact I was wrong.

However, after I gave advices, some whom I do not respect before that, start doing work and contribute. They do not give me a lot of ideas, they do not help to listen to my complains, what they do is just to contribute regularly. This really changes my opinion towards them. I began to trust them, because they've earned my trust from their contribution.

On the other hand, small things can totally ruin your image on someone's eye too. Some people who I used to respect, treated as friends, trust them, by just constantly finding excuses not to come and be late with those unreasonable excuses, they've ruin their image in my eye. I hate to say this but, those people certainly are misusing my trust. I gave them more power to do as they please, because they are trusted as a friend, but the outcome is that they never complete what is asked to, and at the same time, not setting an example to the others with the post they have.

Some who were originally having small pose, or no pose, were given higher pose, or a pose, to appreciate their hardwork and contribution. Among those, some did improve and do better, but some slacked off and perform worse.

And some who I trust them with projects, and respect them for volunteering for the project. I respect them for their contribution and sacrifice. It hit me hard when I know what they are doing is not for the company, but just for themselves. They think of what they will get after joining this project, and constantly giving excuses not to join this activity or that program, using this excuse of "we have this project going on" again and again. They even ask me to give them more than the others because they volunteer, saying that this is such a hard work. They want acknowledgement, I know. It's human's nature. However, they approach me with the wrong way. They never thought of how hard the others are doing with the absence of them, not only doing their own part, but at the same time, these people's part. I felt dissapointed of their foolish and childish thoughts, but what struck me the most, is that they feel so high up and think so highly of themselves, and never appreciate what others are doing, and finding excuses to skip the activities. Even when I asked for a meeting and discussion for these people handling the project, they are nowhere to be found. They say they are contributing. True. If it's so, come when I have meetings for your group. Other activities you may choose not to come, but even those related to your project, you refuse to come. How do you want me to trust you?

It's true. By just some small actions or slips of tongue, you can totally change someone's opinion on you. I have been respected by those who never respect me before this, for always leading by example. My hardwork has been paid off. And for my lecture on those who were always slacking off, I am hated. But I've get to know myself better, and know the others better. Who can I trust, and who I can't trust. As for those manage to impress me, good job; for those who ruined your image, work harder, you may once again change my opinion on you, from worse to good, and good to better.

Humans are really complicated, aren't they?

ps: above are only personal opinions. You don't have to agree with me.