Coping with YE for 2 months. I realise my dark side more. It's more obvious when facing whole lot of problems. I realise how tiny I am and how disgraceful I am.
It has been my nature for being hot-tempered. I sort of got it controlled after standard 5. you might not believe me, I understand, cause I am still hot-tempered eh? But to tell you the truth, I can scold people for small things before that. Ask my primary school friends and you will know. But right now this god-dam*-ugly side that I don't want to show people arise again more and more often. I realise I've been complaning and bossing people around quite harshly, not to say scolding people for just a small mistake they made, lately. I shall not balme that it's stress and *that particular teacher* that caused this, I should blame myself for not handling my emotions well. It might be in my genes that I am hot-tempered (my dad is also like that), but controlling it or not is out of my own will. I guess I don't make a good leader eh? Showing people your god-dam*-punchable lanci face all around is just not a good example of being a leader.
Thinking on that leads me to the prefects' up-coming head prefect election. Mr.Lean is putting a lot of hope in me, and I don't want to dissapoint Ms.Lina for giving me the chance to join the leadership camp last year in hope of building me as the future leader of the board. But I know, I have good ideas, insightful thoughts, but I am just not a good leader. I often find myself work better behind the screen. Being a leader needs good social communication skills, which I doubt I have it. I am just too introvert, and not good in handling emotions. I doubt my ability to be a good leader. I want to try changing myself, I dont want to dissapoint the teachers. I have more or less 2 months left. I will give myself a chance to change, before I make my final decision.
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