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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I Just Don't Belong Here?

I am seriously in deep disapointment over the board. I don't wanna say how bad it is here, we all know ourselves.

The students never respect us as "prefects". If you say your friends respect prefects, think again, maybe they respect "you", as a friend, but not respect "prefects". It's like they see prefects, they don't respect you, rather, the students feel irritated by our existance. How are you going to go with the motto "LEADING THE WAY" like this?

I hate to admit this fact, but you are always right. I always try to prove to you my batch is different. But you always tell me don't put any expectation in it. Don't put any hope if I am not Top5, or even Top3. I try to prove that I will work better in Discipline, despite that you've told me your batch failed. I took on the risk and now I know WHAT'S GOING ON.

I still remember what you taught me. Do everything to get the ketua, even if it's playing dirty by using relationship. I keep saying that's not right and never follow. But again, you are right. People don't see how much efford you put in, they just want the nicest person to be the head.

Now I truly understand how you feel. It really feels bad for not able to do a damn thing when you are down there, without the power of Top3. But yet, people with the power never care to use it properly and just simply irritates you. We are the same kind. They keep telling me don't be the next Min Chern, but yet, I am not you, I am at most a clone of you. We will have a Min Chern every year, I think I've spotted our kind among the Form3 already. But that person isn't ready yet, cause he hasn't reach my expectation and not having the quality of the Top YET.

At least you have your "brothers" and "buddies" support. But I think I am totally lost and deserted. I lost my "use" to them as a climbing rock. I truly understand why you gave up by then. Because I think...I am still the second you. I truly understand how much pain you've gone through, that's why I keep you in my heart as the no.1 most respectable senior, despite that other despises you. I know, you are always the most capable one.

My final question: Shall I take on your way and give up to release myself from the bind, or to continue struggling and suffer?

1 comment:

  1. I am a concerned member of the board mentioned. I feel it is very unjust for a member, no matter how high -or low- your post is, to publish the inner defects of our board. Please use imagery next time (for example, mine)so as to retain the miniscule amount of respect a small percentage of students have for us (jin, sorry to make it sound so bleak) and to prevent yourself from entering my "beh song" list. xp

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