Tomorrow's AGM! Can't determine my successor yet. I prefer A & B, Livia & Xian Di prefers A & C. Yet to ask Zong Yao. There are pros and cons for candidate B & C la.
So fast...one year d. Nostalgic. Like some Form4s, I aimed KP since very long time ago when the Iron Man failed to get the KP. I thought I wanna make a change, plans laid out ahead, but weeks before election I rethink, and I really the best candidate?
I told myself the answer was no. My batch dislikes me, so it won't work. A KP who cannot gain the cooperation and respect from colleagues, esp. committees is not a KP. I knew I won't get the head, but I failed to get PKP as well. Kinda expected I wont get them, since people dont like me, though I used to think I have the highest chance among the others because of "capability", but humans judge "reputation" more than "capability" I didn't get where I want.
But I told myself, I am here for the board, the better good of the board, not there for a post. Many people are there, just for a post. Like Zean Shiung says, some wanted a post because they want it. They dont even know why they want it. It's like a way to complete their high school life and that's all. "I have good academic, now I need a post to make my co-curricular side to look nicer and that's why I aim high." That kind of thinking. Many have that. They want a post, for a post, and they dunno why they are holding it.
I still can do something from any other post. I put away Setia post because I knew Livia was the same kind of person as me and she has a high chance to get KD. If I be the KD we can work together and our strength together will be much stronger than I am if I were Setia, cause being together with people with different personality as you in a dpt only leads to conflicts, plus...I dont think they want to serve, and they want a post because they want it. I thought I cant work with people like these.
Thus I need others' hand to carry out my plans. Yes that's what I did. Despite not getting head, I still can do something, that's what I thought. I gave my suggestions, came out with systems, proposals, and I did not chose the wrong path. Together Disciplinary Dpt gets the confidence of teacher tho we bypassed the top5 at times.
Yes not being the head really gave me a hard time. Many things that you wanted to carry out was not carried out when you lay it on others' hand. Because they are not you, and esp. when some of those people do not know the reason of them being at the top. But this is people's choice. They have a reason for not putting you up there. Like Livia said, we fail for a reason. I fail because I dont have the reputation. True. My human skills suck. Tho being a great thinker and efficient worker, I lack human skill.
Perhaps I gave the seniors the impression that I was too eager for the KP post, and all the while I do my duty well was acting for the post, or I will become MC if I do not get the post. I told you I was damn pissed at that moment when I heard this from some seniors. They categorised me as those people who work for a post like some other *censored* that I hate. They doubted my loyalty towards the board. But I think wisely, perhaps that's the image I had given the others, maybe that's not my true intention, but I have to learn from the failure. Like what some seniors told me "they will regret for not choosing for you capability"
I still rmb what Yin Bin said la, tapi damn perasan de. haha. "If this man fails (to get the head), the board falls" That time I still thought, some candidates are quite good too, but now see their performance and think, they also get a post because they want a post like others. But still, I gotta live with it. If people like those with reputation, THEN LIVE WITH IT, stop COMPLAINING that the committees are not doing things. You have your responsibility for choosing the wrong person that you don't like too. And that's the main reason for us to hold the meeting with Form 4.
My reason for writing this post (Tho I dunno how many people have patience to read until the end) is to let the Form4s to know, no matter what the result is, live with it and do your part. Stop blaming the fate, the stupidity of others for not putting u as the top, stop blaming that others have no eyes. Rethink about your actions, did you build the wrong impression? Did you fullfill the criteria of being an ideal leader? Leadership by example, serving selflessly, human skills, problem solver, hands-on worker...etc. Dont think any of the criteria above is not important. Without any of them, people WILL NOT obey you. Before you have ALL the criterias above, stop saying others have no eyes and did not choose you. LIVE WITH IT.
You might not be the head, but you can still do something, as long as you are consistent, and you never give up, keep proposing tho they are ignored or rejected, BUT make sure you confront the authorities before giving up on them. You serve no rights to look down upon them before they make any mistake, even tho they are not as good as you. Until they really failed to carry out their responsibility, only then you have the rights to not respect them as your leaders.
Above are all personal experience in THIS board. These board have too many spoilt kids and being spoilt kids, they are immature. But no matter how, you still have to deal with the immature people before you form your "mature people league" and start your opposition. I do not know about your future, as I do not know your leaders as you do, and I can only speak this from my experience dealing with MY leaders. May all of you keep your faith strong and never stop trying until the day you retire.
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